guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
