it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
