hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize