she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care