im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
