apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
