Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just pee around me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
