Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think my mom watched the whole time
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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