I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
honey bunches of taint.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
