My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
