It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
