Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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