i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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