Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
