I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
