Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
