it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
