Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
