i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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