gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize