My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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