I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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