week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
