Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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