Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
