i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
