covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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