I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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