fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
True college students do jello shots in the library
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