Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
