Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize