Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
