Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
