Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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