what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
