I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
