he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
