Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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