There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
