Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
