The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
