Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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