are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
