Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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