I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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