oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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