Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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