how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
