Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
