hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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