remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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