i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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