it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
