this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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