dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
