I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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