And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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