so explain again why im purple
no
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
