i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize