you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
