Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
