i think i have two assholes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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